The Issue | Things they don't tell you about becoming a Mother

Thursday, September 7, 2017

First things first, this blog will not turn into a strictly mummy blog! I will continue to share my forays into dealing with my natural hair as well as some bits on beauty and shenanigans in my life.

I have a bone to pick with all grandmothers, aunties and womenfolk in general! Maybe I was naive or stupid, a mix of both perhaps but there were some things I learned about my body after giving birth that despite devouring numerous internet articles, speaking to friends and family and my beloved baby prep book The Bump Class could not have prepared me for.

Pretty accurate 

1. Nipples squirt, yes they do! I am blessed with an oversupply of milk and this has led to me squirting boob milk on my son too many times to count. He doesn't seem to mind though and we ignore the awkwardness of the event as I slowly rub the milk into his skin. They do say breastmilk is good for everything, dry skin included.

2. One of the things I enjoyed the most about being pregnant was not having a period. Those were 10 months of blissfully getting through each 30 days without having to deal with PMS and menstruation. After giving birth however, your uterus will be gushing out blood with the force of the Victoria falls that no ordinary pad will be able to capture. The first few nights will need industrial style protection, I mean adult diapers! The next few weeks will be a mix of waking up one day to a few drops of blood, getting excited that its over and then 2 hours later you are grappling with a maxi pad coz the tap has reopened. I bled for about 4 weeks heavy and 2 weeks spotting. 

3. Postpartum sweats- I have always been that girl who doesn't sweat but gently perspires! Well, all of that disappeared after giving birth. I (Thank God!) did not have any swelling of hands and feet when I was pregnant, this however did not mean that my body was not carrying extra water that needed to be gotten rid of. For about 5-6 weeks, I would wake up soaked to my underwear with night sweats. Well damn, women really got it all. I had been handed this beautiful baby that I have to feed at least 3 times a night who had to deal with a mummy smelling like a construction worker ( for the Kenyans, a guy from the mjengo). Clearly the body could have been more efficient, I would have been happy to wee out the sweat. 

4. Breasts serve a function, to nourish babies! Never have I been reminded of this function than two days after giving birth when I was in our guest bathroom trying to hold back tears as I massaged my boobs to release the milk that had them so engorged and swollen. To add to that, I also found out that there are milk ducts in your underarms and I was one of those lucky women whose underarm milk ducts engorge. I basically was unable to sit with my arms down. Fun times! After giving birth, your boobs look like the after picture of a plastic surgeons boob job on a porn star except that after a few hours once your offspring has been on them, they deflate!

I wish someone would have told me all of this earlier that is why I am sharing it with you guys?

What do you wish someone told you before giving birth?

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