Epic "Green" Smoothie Fail

Friday, July 29, 2011

Hey hey hey everyone!

It's FRIDAY... sweet merciful heavens.

I hope you're good and that life's going easy on you.

This morning, in one of my less than stellar moments, I mixed up a disaster of a five minute smoothie after my morning P90X work out.

After I was done working out, I realized I only had about a half hour to hit the shower, pack my lunch and get ready for work... In a moment of inspiration (read as brazen stupidity) I figured I had what it took to make a magical, ultimate, green smoothie in under 5minutes. Despite my knowing I hadn't gone grocery shopping in ages and as such the only 'green' thing I had in my pantry was half a head of suspicious cabbage, a papaya, an over-ripe mango, and for that extra shazaam, some raw ginger and a whole mess of tomatoes; I was determined.

I stared at the clock - T-27 min - and at my sad assortment of ingredients... Challenge accepted. I went at it.

And now, behold my monstrous creation....


If you think it looked bad, you should have tasted it.


The worst part is there was so much of it! I downed my first glass and grudgingly put the remainder in my juice bottle. Waste not want not right.


It's my assumption the shocking puke-orange colour is because of the papaya and the mango. Scouts honor; there was more cabbage in there than anything! I even used only half of the mango - on account of it being overripe - and one full baby papaya, the little ones. Honest.... :(

Oh, and those tiny little red bits that you see, that's the shredded whole tomato I added. This stuff was RANK to say the least.


By the by, I do my work outs at 4.30AM and 9.00PM (weekdays). In the colder months I ALWAYS make sure I'm nice and warm as I exercise. This prevents my muscles from cramping up because of the cold. I also like working up a good sweat; sweat is FAT crying.

I have no culinary skills whatsoever. Nil. Zip. Nada... Nyachomba is the super star when it comes to making miraculous flavorful dishes out of basically anything. After I told her about the smoothie I made, she laughed at me and went on to give me a lecture about what I should have done to make it tastier (yeah whatever). She's going to do a couple of posts for you (and me) on how to make awesome tasting green smoothies real soon... :)

In my defense: IT WAS HEALTHY GADDAMIT! *You know I can't go down without a fight!*

Feel free to share your own unique and super quick green smoothie recipes! Preferably those that use locally available products, but any will do. Enjoy the weekend people.

Much love.x

7 comments:

Kurly said...

I love Mary!! However she cannot make a smoothie to save her life....I am surprised she is still standing..cabbage, papaya and tomatoes with ginger...Child! We need some lessons!! At least she is getting her 5 a day!! Nyachomba

Maria said...

I'm still stuck on the part where you work out at 4.30 and 9, wtf? When do you sleep?

How far are you in P90X? Go 'head girl is all I can say.

A Simple Thing said...

Ashley over at never home maker (http://www.neverhomemaker.com/) is a runner and she posts some smoothie too. She's on a smoothie kick this very week - how timely!
And that's this lady whose website is about glowing, hold on, lemme see...
http://greenmonstermovement.com/

I've never actually tried anything from the green monster website - I'm too afraid of having to drink vegetables >.<

Kurly said...

@Nyachomba. :( ok. I'll try the next batch at yours. (super sigh)

@Maria! I sleep for about 6 hours everyday... this is nearly half of what I'm used to. Ask anyone I love my sleep, but I just decided to make a few sacrifices to get the results I want. Waking up; it kinda sucks, but the work-out after glow is worth it. I'm in my 6th week of no BS, I'm finishing this damn thing even if it kills me... Progress pics coming up! (I have abs again!)

@A Simple Thing! hola, danke! I have checked out the links thanks for Ashley, she's awesome (and what perfect timing might I add). Don't let the crap smoothie up top sway you but green smoothies taste awesome (if made well)! C'mon give it a go.. c'mon... :) thanks again.

EK13 said...

UUUIII....on your next shopping list, please add cinnamon. Tip, use carrots instead of any other veg. Ginger is fine.

Happy smoothing making.

Kurly said...

Cinnamon.... that's it! That's the chemical X I've been looking for. It's all so clear now! *lightening strikes*

Thanks EK13.I'll add the carrots as well, but the thing about green smoothies is the veggies :( gotta have 3/4 vegg in there... sigh.

TO THE MARKET!

Anonymous said...

this story has made my day!you guys have a major sense of humour and all in all i have been encouraged from your posts to start my long overdue natural hair journey!