Re: Wanted Brazilian/Indian Hair

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

You just have to read this!!

I came across this discussion on a Zambian online classified... (don't ask what I was doing there, just read). I apologize for the tiny fonts guys!

So... an online persona called 'Hairweaves' put up this ad on an online Zambian Classified ad;

And here are some of the responses she received... some are funny and some are just mean. The ad spiraled into an interesting debate.. read on (try to)!

This prompted some more harsh responses:

But our weave diva comes back with a retort!

The war rages on! Our Woven Wonder isn't done yet... She went on to attack Maven and MM by saying:
...Mind you even the Janet you have in your hair is dead peoples hair.
Even those wigs are made from real peoples hair wether dead or alive.
Don't be a hypocrite when you also buy lowend 100% human hair Janet/Milky way hair extensions. Sangomas, you are one of them!
So I guess you are one of those people who cant get an organ transplant even if your life depended on it or a blood transfusion?

Its a matter of choice, if you dont want "dead" peoples hairs so be it!

I love my brazilian hair! Shout out to all the ladies sporting brazilian hair!

The challenged Maven replied with this;
Dear bodyparts, I mean hairweaves, what makes you believe that I wear did you arrive at that conclusion and who the hell is Janet??? Is she a piece of dry or is it "processed" body part too? You are so missing the point skinbits. Get a match and burn a strand of that hair in your kitchen, make sure you do it while cooking a meat dish, then come back and tell me what it smelt like? By the way, why do you want wavy hair on your head? Your facial feature and skin colour don't agree... you aboriginal wannabe you! DNA kawalalas! You think your God made a mistake giving you tightly curled thick black hair? I don't think so.
A somewhat tamed Hairweaves had this simple response;

And here is the response by a one "Entrepreneur" that got me:
Dear hairweaves,

I realise you asked for Brazilian or Indian hair. Please allow me to make a counter offer. One day I was driving along that road between Kapiri Mposhi and Serenje. You know that place just below the area where DRC map looks like it took a bite from Zambia.

Anyway, I came across some young village girls. It was late afternoon because you could see the way the long shadows hit the trees. In that orange sunlight, I saw a glimmer of those girls hair. It was beautiful.

I pulled over my 4x4 and asked the girls if they were interested in selling me their hair. They asked how much. I said 250 a head. They asked if I could make it K50,000, that's when I realised the misunderstanding. I had meant K250,000. They were ecstatic.

We struck up a deal and 45 minutes later I drove away with five plastic bags full of pure Zambian village girls hair. It's in pristine condition, jet black, thick, oolala.

If you are interested, it can be yours for as little as K75,000 a piece. I'm selling it cheap because I want to see more and more Zambian women looking like those regal Zambia village girls on the road to Serenje
Oh my....

The Classifieds admin stepped in at this point to calm the storm;


Final thoughts;

In the end...


I just wanted to share this with you guys. Take it as you will... But man I Love Africa.

Disclaimer: the views expressed on this extract do not reflect the thoughts and opinions of Kurly Kichana.

Thanks for reading.
Nyachomba said...


Mbabazi said...

so funny .killed it

Simply Meezy said...

That was awesome!

KinkyCurlyYoungLady said...

Wowww! Thanks for sharing!

Mary said...

No worries! It's a pleasure... I still can't get over the Entrepreneurs response. It's so well written. (In my mind I have already concluded that he is a lecturer of African Literature and is in his late 60's) Epic.

SugarPuss said...

Yabba!!! *dead, buried and is now a zombie dancing to thriller...too funny!!!

kinky_lockz said...

eiish, waAfricans go hard!

Anonymous said...

OMGoodness!!! I have laughed so hard! Wow! P.S. Please check out BGLH, there's a story about weaves being stolen. The lengths people go to....SMH

Have a great day, u sure made mine!


Kiianah said...


Tulizana said...

This is soo hilarious I have laughed everyone in the office thinks I have gone mad.This must be the best piece yet.

Angel said...


Anonymous said...

Oh my.
"Dear Bodyparts, I mean hairweaves..."!

So cold.

Great start to my afternoon.

Curly-Natural-Me said...

*Death by Laughter* Too funny! I'm still in stitches! Kwanza the 'You Sangomas' and 'wearing corpses fingers' Waah, *Dead again*

Anonymous said...

big up!!! to everyone putting on dead peoples hair.i mean why the hell would i walk around with someone's shit in my head....its crap!!! HA! HA! HA! im just playing with you look fabulous in that hair.

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