Aaaaargh! I HATE that

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Hello lovelies,

There’s a lot to love about being natural; I could go all day counting down the whys and the wherefores. But, there are times my friends, times and incidences that make me go ‘Aaaaaargh!’, as a natural sister.

That's me blowing up...

1. Detangling. I hate it. My arms get tired and the shred hair depresses me. I hate it when I get impatient and the sound of my ripping hair reminds me who’s boss. Detangling! Aaaaaargh!

God willing this will be my hair when it grows up. But just IMAGINE detangling this beautiful mess.

2. Suggestions/ inferences/ comments from friends, family and random citizens. “Girl you need to perm your hair!”, “Why don’t you loc it?”, “Are you some sort of neo-soul artist?” “Are you a member of an illegal sect?” “What are you trying to prove?” “Don’t worry, I know a GREAT hair stylist; he may be able to help you.

YAHH TRICK YAHH!!!!!! Get out ma face!

3. Buying the wrong product. I hate it when I hurriedly grab a bottle of shampoo instead of conditioner and discover this grievous error just as I’m in the shower ready to co-wash. Super sigh. I can’t be bothered to return an item once I buy it. This has happened twice this year.

4. Black men who don’t like natural hair and make fun of it. SM(N)H.

5. Fails. When you see an amazing style on the internet, eagerly try it out at home for hours only to end up with a birds nest on your head. Super fail.

6. Weave/ wig checkers. I generally hate it when people grab and touch my hair without the common decency to even ask … But what really gets to me is this;

Random Girl: “Uh girl, your hair is too cute,”

Me: “Oh thanks I –"

Random Girl: “OMG, it’s YOUR hair! Wow.” Random Girl smiles and walks away.

Me: (to myself) “You’ve just been weave-checked biatch.”

My natural reaction

7. Split ends/ fairy knots. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhh!

8. Unnecessarily mean/ rude comments. Nyachomba and I hit the club a while back; freakum dresses on, heels check, make-up on just right and BAAs double-check. We owned it. As we took our ritual visit to the ladies, some two mean girls were just leaving when one of them glared at us and said,

Fugly Weave wearing heffa: “Don’t these girls own combs?”

Nyash and I: Sad faces

Sad and hurt.

9. Timus inappropriatus. Don’t you just hate it when you set aside an entire day to do either a luscious deep-conditioning session, or a heena treatment, twist-and-a-movie day in, etc and then all of a sudden, your phone goes off;

Every friend in Phone Book: “Woman! Where the hell are you! Party over here! Get down here NOW that cute boy you like is asking for you!”

Me: Sh*t.

10. The Drippies. Nuff said.

11. Not completely dry twist-out. I hate it when I ambitiously rush an over-night twist and attempt a twist out the next day only to discover that there are bits that didn’t quite dry up and by midday my hair looks like my good old regular fro. Not a wave or clumped curl in sight.

12. Running low on supplies in the middle of the month. Solution! Sleep over at Nyash’s!


Oh well, c’est la vie, no? Tis the path I chose and I must bear the bumps ahead… but you know what; it’s all a part of the process. I love every second of this natural hair journey, curses, fails, fist shaking and all. The good days are SO worth it and you’ll be glad to note that there are more good days than bad.

What things make YOU want to punch a baby seal? I’m dying to read them.

Thanks for reading!


Val said...

You must be in my head...I am so co-signing with all these points I just blogged/ ranted about some girl who asked me "What's wrong with your hair?" I was so mad!!!!

One time my sister got me to do an overnight hot oil treatment. So I duly mixed up my oils, warmed them and applied them to my scalp/hair..I am a restless when I woke up, my pillow was drenched with oil! Plus I had to smell the oils the whole night as I slept..NKT! Needless to say this problem doesn't affect my sis, who woke up with her headscarf still tied up nice and pretty on her head..le sigh..

The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that for all the negatives, there are awesome positives (you should blog about those...some black men love natural hair..this I know for a fact :) )

Mbabazi said...

my frustration right now is that my hair refuses to stretch even though its growing fast .it just coils in there.
also sometimes when i dont intentionally comb people think i just forgot to.

kinky_lockz said...

ALL THIS!!!!!!!!!!

#2, 4, 6, 8 is why i stay hating some b*tches. dnt jealous me! hahaha

#9..i know the best things in life are spontaneous but i keep telling people if you want me to be there i need a 2-3hr notice. what kind of girl do i look like always being available lol

# 1, 5, 7, 10, 11, 12 all in one day has led to thoughts of a big cut. i'm not married to the length, i need my damn peace!

arrgh! but then i touch the luscious, cottony, kinky/coily goodness; catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and realize "i am my hair! and she runs this!"

Anonymous said...

this article tickled me to bits! I am also co-signing on everything in here.....lolest! But like you said, the good days are def more than the not-so-good! Great job guys

Mary said...

Bump that Val, there's nothing like a greasy head is dusty and beautiful Africa! lol! Nyash did a post on ten reasons to love natural hair! have a read!

hope it brings a smile to your face!

@Mbabazi, shrinkage is a love-hate thing. You can stretch your dry, detangled hair by doing a couple of three strand twists (matutas) or twists and undoing them the following morning, that should help beat shrinkage.

@kinky_lockz, Don't jealous me! I am a slave to my hair.. tis true! and I LOVE it!

Hey Anon, thanks for the love! Here's to the good days :)

Curly-Natural-Me said...

:-) I loved this article. Being the product junkie that I'm, I've got loads of deep treatments that i wish i could return coz i thought they were conditioners! NKT! I'm also at twa stage and men, i look like a boy with booty at times coz there aint so many styles for my height! Nhoo, I'm a natural to the grave!

LuvLyfe said...

OMG I am totally co-signing on all these points especially detangling, grabbing the wrong product(ARGGGHH!), time inappropriateness(I swear ppl wait until your about to do your hair to call) and split ends/fairy knots!!!! And men or women having ignorant things to say about our hair...DOUBLE SIGH (-_-)
Favorite post today!

Shiks said...

I hate people feeling for my scalp. I get it atleast once a day!

Nothing comes between me and my drinks and girls. I wear a scarf and go.

I hate it when people say I was more beautiful with long hair!

My ex saying my hair is ugly!

Anonymous said...

This was fun to read!

I also got a comment yesterday..."You look like a Mama Mboga". *pause*

It was not meant as a compliment.

Hair was in two large cornrows to the back. I may have looked kinda tired and I wasn't particularly dressed up either. Why do people associate certain styles with the so called "lower class" members of society? There's a post idea for you!


Anonymous said...

My frustration is when African American girls say to me, "Girl, I just can't do natural hair. My hair is too coarse, blah blah blah blah."

All I hear after that is blah blah blah blah. I'm not a converter. I'm simply an example. :D

Nyachomba said...

@Everyone ..This has truly made my day and I agree with all the points so funny!! Hahahaha. @Adjoa, I love that, I'm not a converter. I'm simply an example. :D!!

Anonymous said...

Combination of 4(Black bros who make fun of natural hair) and 8(Unnecessarily rude comments)
I'd straightened my hair and successfully managed a sides-pinned-down-mo-hawk for the club.
Now, 1. I used to be very ignorant about my natural hair
2. I'm generally not one to care too much about my hair over having a great time with the girls

So, we check in - all's good, my 'hawk is on point. AND THEN, four hours later, sweaty dancing and all, I have sweat for five people, my hair is a shrunken tangle on my head and these two guys walk up to me, ask "What happened to your mo'hawk?" and laugh. I honestly thought nothing of it at the time - Ignorance is bliss - but I somehow managed to retrieve the memory on Monday - face-palm, I was being mocked for my shrunken nappy hair. *sigh

petesmama said...

This one time, I was sitting in a cafe and this chick walks up to me and TOUCHES.MY.HAIR. Like she was patting the head of a little girl and offering her a sweet. Then she squeals: your hair is actually real?! So cool!

She was a second away from a bitch slap. Actually, make that half a second.

Nyachomba said...

@Anonymous..shrinkage is definitely a love hate thing...wololo
@Petesmama...I can so understand..The other day..Mr and I are walking in some garden and pass by some spa to ask for of the ladies just grabs a handful of my emotions went from terror to imma slap you!! The nerve of people to touch your hair without asking!!

Jc said...

Oh anon, I'm sorry but I really laughed at that 'Mama Mboga' comment.

To be honest in your position I really would have cracked up if that had been told to me because it is hilarious (don't ask me husband just told me not to hurt myself laughing!).

I probably would have reiterated with, 'Atleast I look like a Mama Mboga, you behave like a Chokora.'

SugarPuss said...

LOL...too funny

or like when you've spent atleast 15 minutes defining the curls of your TWA, then when you're finally ready to go someone goes like "so what are you doing to your hair?" " is done" "oh...ok" "???"

Anonymous said...

guys this post is truly my favourite so far.
iv been quietly doing the protective challenge with you guys from the beginning tho to be honest iv lost track of what week im on or why im doing because the immense frustration i have endured with my natural hair the past 6-8months...eek!! so its been in braids and im glad coz i dont have to think to much about styling and detangling etc etc etc

but this post and the comments have made me laugh
ahahaha i love the reaction on no 6

and jc's reiteration above is excellent...i must try that sometime!!!!

and....what are the drippies????

Anonymous said...

Thanks Nyachomba! I'm glad you feel the same.

Ktchp.tsauce said...

I kind of feel bad cos I am number one to pat people's heads. Once, I patted down some chic's weave and publicly relaxed when I learnt it wasn't all hers - I know, that was bad. But it's mostly because I really don't mind it when folks pat my hair down - UNLESS IT'S A FRO cos then I'll be stuck with a dent.

Anyhu, I like how you built up from the blah, ot so angry ones to the slap-your-mama-to-Timbuktu angry ones.

5by5 said...

'You've just been weave-checked biatch'! Hahahaha! You guys are just cracking me up! I totally feel you on ppl randomly touching the hair. What's up with that? And for me, it's dudes who do it!

Nyachomba said...

@Chyiku..I know I still owe you a date..will holla. The drippies are when you leave the shower with your hair wet..and it just does not dry and keeps dripping water down your neck and back...
@Ktchp.tsauce...I feel hair is a very personal thing and apart from people very close to me I rarely touch peoples hair...
@5by5....I do not understand how you feel you have the right to touch my hair...eish people are funny...this guy literally yanked my was very sad...I feel like its such a violation..glad we are all in agreement

Anonymous said...

This was actually hilarious!!! I completely relate to all this! fairy(flyaway) knots, half done twists, and worst of all those girls that think they have you and your hair all figured out! hmph! i love this blog and I absolutely LOVE! the new KASHA magazine, I'm a media student in the UK graduating in July and I hope to start working on project to get involved with Kasha when I get home!*watchthisspace* peace love and natural hair!

Anonymous said...

hey pple,am new at this not combing my hair thing and am so frustrated coz my afro is short and dry,i cant even run a finger thru it and i dont know what to do to make my hair soft..i water it in the morning b4 i style it with gel and some moisurizer but it dries(eventualy)leaving me with makonge hair..
pls smeone give me a hair regimen thatl keep my hair soft and hair is super super coily..

Mary said...

Hey Anon,
What you need to do is co-wash you hair (wash with conditioner)regularly, moisturize (any aqua based product) and then seal in the moisture with a natural oil (olive oil/ coconut oil). This will keep your hair soft and fluffy.
One must only detanlge (comb) natural hair when it is heavily saturated with conditioner and use a wide-toothed comb.

These are the basics! hope it helps!

Makonge hair?? lol!

Cosmogirl said...

I know I'm mad late but I mentioned this post on my blog last year as a note to self but forgot to actually comment on it. LMAO! I love you gals and how you write. Every point expressed here is soooo true and totally on point. The detangling thing is fast becoming my pet peeve as my hair's growing, what a necessary evil :S

I'm very tempted to write a post about what I'm currently hating right now; being The Afro Girl. If I've tied my hair in a cute updo or put protective braids in, the first thing people who know me say "where's the fro? I wanted to see the fro!" followed by an extremely awkward I'm-so-disappointed-and-now-I-have-nothing-to-talk-to-you-about face. I AM NOT MY HAIR!

Latest Instagrams

© Kurly Kichana. Design by FCD.