How have you been? Missed you, I have.
So as promised, I will give you a brief overview of my experience during the marathon.
IT WAS AWESOME...
Yeah, that sums it up. Told you it would be brief. At this point I would like to give a very special shout out to my companions that made it possible, they have been with me through it all and continue to be the soles beneath my feet... My tired random trainers: *Standing Ovation Please!*
Today I would like to cover another facet of natural beauty: good old body image.. I confess, for all my years, I am still very confused.
Body Image and the weight issue
Here's a little known fact about me; I am a runner. I love to run! I've been running for just about three years now. It all started in my second year of college; I would jog for 15 min around the school track field, pant and curse miserably, then trod off defeated into the gym... Over time, my running legs grew stronger and before you knew it I would run nearly everyday for an hour (it was college, I had time!)
I lost a ton of weight. Dude, if I had before pics you would understand, here's a pic of my post running body...
Not too shabby... I think
Another thing you should know about me is that I tend to be an extremist. It's GO HARD or go home in my twisted little world. So I trained harder and lost even more weight. I ate like a chipmunk and found all things fatty and sweet ungodly: (due to the extreme graphic nature of my over-gym days, I will not be providing an image). Ok, Ok it wasn't thaaat bad, I was just overtly toned... and skinny. Training for an average of 3hours a day can do that to you..
Now women are pretty much awesome because they can look perfect in any shape or form. This is how the Good Lord deemed it. Western Society somehow messed everything up and tried to make skinny the new beautiful. Everyday I'm bombarded with images of thin twig like models and celebrities losing insane weight. As much as I like to think I'm above all the BRAIN washing... Clearly, I'm really not :(
How GORGEOUS is she, right?
Chanel Iman.... model and overall beautiful girl. Thanks a lot society :(
Victoria Secret models... I swear they are built in a lab somewhere... oh look ! Tyra and Heidi, must be an old pic
Miss Tyra after the whole weight gain and weigh loss fiasco
I love me some JH... at any shape or form
Let's fast foward a year later. This is me now... I haven't gymed for well over a year and I have lost all muscle definition. I stopped gyming because of the nature of my DEMANDING job in the wonderful world of marketing and advertising and promptly gained a sh*tload of weight. I occassionally run though, and work out with awesome DVDs sporadically whenever I have the time or when my feet get restless.
I gain weight primarily on my hip area... my cubes are gone though... sigh
I have THIGHS!!! oh lordy!
But you know the thing about it is.. I kinda like being curvy and feminine.. Herein lies the confusion.
Now ladies, I am prone to flights of fancy, so forgive me if I sound delirious when I say (at my most gym toned) I believe my celebrity body twin is Miss Jessica Biel.
Yup... I even get the muscular arms....
Baby got BACK!! :)
She has a bit of booty and the kind of body that gains muscle really fast... kinda like me. When I hear all sorts of ill-talk about how not feminine her body is I quickly revert and question my own femininity and proceed to eat loads of candy and also take a hiatus from working out... then I see her again and LOVE how healthy and toned she looks so I start to work out at home FANATICALLY and the cycle repeats itself. I have issues. I am currently at work-out-at-home-FANATICALLY mode.
I'm not sure what's better. A rockin' curvy feminine body or a lean, toned and healthy physique. I've been every shape there is and at my extremes, I have coveted the other.
What's the answer ladies? I LOVE being healthy and in shape, but I hate losing my bum and gaining the Incredible Hulk type arms!!! I hate having love handles and not being able to wear anything (I find when i'm slimmer I could look HOT in a garbage bag). I sometimes gain a happy middle ground, but lose myself along the way. So I think its time I stick to one lifestyle.
At present I am working out like a maniac... I'll post pics as soon as my cubes are back. I might look like a pro-wrestler or a beautiful healthy 20-something year old.. feel free to let me know when the time comes.
Please leave a note and tell me what your thoughts on weigh and body image are... all views and standpoints are welcome as always.
Love as always,